“I don’t like Miami”

In a motel breakfast room in Jacksonville last week, a woman learned I was from Miami and told me: “I don’t like Miami. I visited once and it didn’t seem like a nice place.”

So right she is.

In Miami…

…the Sun gets in your eyes.

* * *

You might encounter a stranger wandering in your yard,

while wild reptiles invade your home,

and grotesquely large bugs walk on you.

* * *

The water is too warm for trout fishing…

… but the sideshow can be too distracting to fish at all.

* * *

It rains on the weekend,

yet you can’t grow a decent apple.

* * *

Flocks of noisy birds disturb the peace,

it’s not safe to drink the water,

and you have to watch your step.

* * *

People in Miami can be so rude.

* * *

Convicted felons wander the streets, disguised as clowns.

* * *

The waterways are too crowded,

and you miss out on winter.

* * *